As noted on Wake Up Your Mind, having a stubborn child can be challenging and frustrating for parents. These parents do not only fight with their little ones over every-day-tasks like putting away their toys or eating their veggies but they also worry that their children’s stubbornness could be a problem later on in their children’s lives.
Though parents have the right to be worried, according to newest research, there could be a connection between stubbornness and success.
What Does it Mean to Be Stubborn?
Stubbornness is a personality trait which is first noticed when a child is a toddler. Though parents try their best to teach their children about respect and what is good and bad, it can be quite difficult to make stubborn children to listen to you. These people have their own mind and find it difficult to listen to orders and want things to be done their way. This trait may even follow them throughout their teenage years and even continue in adulthood.
Stubbornness may Not Be as Bad as You may Think
As seen on Wake Up Your Mind, a study from 2015 done by the American Psychological Association discovered an association between stubbornness in children and professional success in adulthood.
The study followed closely different children between the age of 8 and 12 and rated them according to different characteristics like defiance and entitlement. The study lasted for 40 years and the goal was to see how the children turned out to in their adult lives.
The researchers consider the results to be amazing. Namely, the children which were considered stubborn had a higher likelihood of becoming successful in their careers than the average children. Although there was no reason for the results noted, there were several conclusions brought to as why could stubborn children be more successful in their professional lives.
The Link between Stubbornness & Professional Success
Stubborn children, as the researchers explain, possess a trait that helps them be more competitive in life, especially in school and they do their best to get good grades. As a result, their chances of being accepted to a good college and getting a good job is much higher. Also, they will be more demanding at their job and thus, more willing to fight for their interests and rights, sometimes even at a risk of annoying their colleagues and friends.
However, constantly breaking the rules due to stubbornness at a young age may lead to an adult who may do unethical things in order to increase their pay or move up the career ladder.
This being said, despite the fact that stubbornness has its merits; it still remains a trait that has to be controlled. And, a lot of stubborn people will learn that (usually the hard way) that being closed-minded is not always a good idea.
Tips for How to Be a Better Parent to a Stubborn Child
As seen on Wake Up Your Mind, raising strong-willed children can be done without affecting their spirits and instead, encouraging their strength and courage so that they become a brave and strong adult who knows what he/she wants and has values.
- Try to connect with them instead of pushing them
Remember, as a parent, your job is not only to order your children around, but to find adequate ways to communicate with them and gently approach them. Otherwise, when they feel forced, their immediate response is rebellion.
- Listen to what they have to say
If you only argue with your child who is strong-willed, you will get nowhere. Remember to listen to the things they have to say and how they feel.
- Be careful of your attitude
In a lot of cases, the child may have inherited his/her determined spirit from their parents. And, very often, they may be copying your behavior. Therefore, arguing a lot with your partner or saying “no” frequently may be setting the wrong example for your children.
- Offer them options
If you want your child to stop watching TV and go to sleep but he/she is reluctant to do that, try a different approach rather than bossing them around, i.e. provide options. Inform them that it is time for bed and ask them if they would like if you read them a story. If he/she continues refusing to go to bed, calmly tell them that this is not an option and be persistent with the options.
- Remember to remain calm
Strong-willed children can really get you going; however, despite your frustration, try not to give in to shouting and yelling because this will only worsen things.