Want to Annoy Someone? Here Are 12 Dark Horoscopes for each Zodiac Sign

People who believe in astrology tend to check their daily horoscopes and some of them may even secretly hope for a new raise at work or a romantic relationship. But, for others, horoscope is just a distraction from their day to day lives. Interestingly, Amrit Brar, an artist from Toronto, has created a weird approach to these prophecies known as Shitty Horoscopes or darkly humorous horoscope for each of the zodiac signs. Let’s take a look!

Dark Horoscope

Aries

You are a quiet god, and your hunger is cavernous.

Taurus

Decorating your meltdowns is all well and good, but a trainwreck is a trainwreck and it might be time to get a paramedic.

Gemini

They tell you there is nothing to fear but fear itself, but you have seen yourself in the mirror.

Cancer

Assholery is incurable, unfortunately.

Leo

You are only as lucky as your expectations are low.

Virgo

Worse than having too many secrets is having no secrets at all.

Libra

Your love will always be rooted deeper than any grave.

Scorpio

It pays to kill with kindness when you are your own worst enemy.

Sagittarius

You are only armed to the teeth because you are more brittle than you would care to admit.

Capricorn

Your ego cannot afford cremation or caskets.

Aquarius

Make up your fucking mind.

Pisces

Self-reflection is important! Whether you like what you see is up for debate. Whether it can be contained in a dark basement is another matter entirely.