You probably have at least one friend or family member who was fired and claimed it was the boss’s fault or someone whose dates always flake on them and they’re never the ones to blame.
These people probably always say that it wasn’t their fault and that the other side was the culprit. How many people do you know that love to play the victim?
According to Israeli psychologists, these people carry a toxic personality trait or the tendency to behave as a victim. They describe these people as individuals with an ongoing feeling that they’re victims, throughout various relationships in their lives.
How to Spot a Person with a Toxic Personality?
But, not every victim out there is a toxic person; bad things happen and there are a lot of people who’re really victims. The people with this toxic trait claim they’re the victims all the time and always blame things on others.
According to Rahav Gabay and her team, here’s how to easily recognize people who like to play victims:
- In constant search for recognition
These people rarely acknowledge their faults and claim that no one ever apologizes to them. They’re doing this because of their ongoing search for recognition that something bad really happened to them and them only.
- No empathy
Everything that happens to them is the worst and no other person’s sufferings matter. For these people, their problems are the only thing that’s real-they lack empathy. They believe that they’ve suffered a lot and that no one else deserves compassion.
- They feel like their moral compass is the best
These people will never ever admit that they did something wrong.
They believe they have a moral compass which is the best and use this to manipulate others to believe in what they believe.
In a way, this is their defense mechanism to keep a positive self-image.
- Ruminations about previous victimizations
As romantic relationships rarely worked for people with this toxic trait, there’s little chance that they would work in the future.
Although our past shouldn’t dictate our future, these people think like this. They ruminate about their past and think that it will also reflect their future.
How to Help a Person Who Loves Playing the Victim?
Having a person who’s used to playing the victim and always blaming others isn’t easy.
These people are also selfish and rarely wrong. They tend to punish others who believe wronged them.
However, although we all play victims from time to time, we shouldn’t get comfortable in always playing the victim and not admitting our mistakes.
We need to nourish forgiveness and realize that nobody is perfect. Instead of blaming others, these people should focus on acceptance and then finding better ways and doing better in the future.
Our mistakes can teach us a lot.
Sources: