A lot of psychologists and specialists in child behavior help us spot the difference between children-ones who’re not very grateful and those who’ve been victims to toxic parenting.
According to clinical psychologists Seth Meyers and Preston Ni, our parents’ actions can influence our lives. Still, raising children is a challenge and no one should be judgmental.
However, there’s a line between the mistakes of parents and improper attitude of toxic parents. Some of their attitudes can be really harmful.
Below, check out the 10 most toxic parental traits!
10 Toxic Parental Traits that Can Damage Children
- Love me, but fear me
For parents who’re toxic, emotional attacks equal attention and love.
In these families, the children can easily find out their parents’ moods by simply dropping the keys on the floor.
Unfortunately, this causes the child to live in fear and apprehension. When the child tries to react to this, a parent would say ‘I’ve done everything for you and you’re still ungrateful’.
- Deal with your problems, but you don’t have any rights
Toxic parents tend to share their responsibilities with their children.
For example, the child will think it’s their bad attitude which makes the father drink or smoke.
Later on, the child may also be pulled into scandals-listen to their complaints, put themselves in their shoes, tolerate them, and console them. This makes the child unable to express their opinion and their wants and needs.
- Be the best, but realize you’re not special
Toxic and narcissistic parents want their children to perform the best.
But, they take all of these achievements for granted. Their comments end up ruining the child’s life as it makes them grow up thinking that they’re never enough and that nothing they achieve or do is special.
- Open up to me, but I may humiliate you
Toxic parents want their children to be honest with them and tell them everything. However, they later use this information against them.
For example, they share the stories with friends and relatives without seeing anything wrong with it or they use sarcasm and scold the child using what they’ve told them.
- You’re not even trying
The lower the child’s self-esteem, the easier will the parent control them. They will constantly emphasize their flaws and failures or comment on their appearance. Whenever they can, they will also make up flaws.
These parents aren’t genuinely interested in seeing their kids thrive.
- Be better, but don’t forget me in your plans
A narcissistic parent will only get excited for their children’s achievements because they love boasting about their success to other or because they will help them have a better life.
They will expect from the child to build a successful career, but will fret at them leaving the house and becoming independent.
- Follow my lead, but the blame is on you if you fail
Parents who act like this see their children as objects-they want them to adhere to their plans and when something doesn’t go as planned, they will blame them.
- Go away, but don’t leave me
In healthy families, the parents will be the ones who will help the children move out and start an independent life. The toxic ones don’t want their children to leave, yet will constantly point out what belongs to them-the house, the money, the food.
If the child objects, they will ignore them. They want an obedient child who will stay forever by their side.
- Accept our help, but don’t exploit us
Toxic parents will keep on offering something that the child doesn’t need and will feel resented if the child refuses.
The child will think the parents want company and to feel needed and accept the help. The parents will later remind the children of the favors they did for them.
- Trust me, but keep an eye
Toxic parents don’t think their children have the right to a private life and personal space. When you try to restrict them from entering your territory, they will question your distrust.
Even if you have your own place, they will ask for emergency keys. They will constantly ask questions like ‘why did you waste money on that’ or ‘why didn’t you wash the clothes’.
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