Nice people tend to put others before themselves and do everything they can to please others. Regardless of what is happening, they’re all about giving.
But, the end result isn’t always what they expect it to be. People who’re too nice tend to experience moodiness and tiredness because they frequently forget about self-care.
When people are too nice and volunteer to give and do more for others, others begin to expect more of them. So, they start to crave more attention and validation that they’re unable to give themselves.
No one is saying that being kind, compassionate, and nice is a bad thing. On the contrary, it’s a human trait worth nourishing; however, we have to remember our own needs along the way.
10 Negative Consequences of Being too Nice
- When you’re always giving, others will begin to expect more from you
When we fail to have boundaries, people will look at us like a doormat and some of them may take advantage of you and your kindness.
This is why we need to show more appreciation for ourselves and meet our own needs and wants before we dedicate ourselves to others.
Setting limits to your availability doesn’t mean you lack sympathy for others; it is just a sign that you also have needs that need to be met.
When you value yourself more, others will do it too.
Otherwise, when you give too much, people will appreciate this less and less. When you put boundaries, others will notice it and show more respect for you.
- People will come to you when they need something from you
When you’re too nice, others will only see you as a means to their end.
So, they will contact you only when they want/need your help.
This can easily spiral out of control if you don’t have boundaries set in place. Being too nice can easily become overwhelming so it’s essential to learn how to say “no” gently and calmly, without giving too many reasons for the ‘why’.
- You will attract the needy types
People who’re too nice tend to attract people who’re manipulative and needy.
This is because they see a chance to take advantage of nice people since they notice the person has no boundaries.
It’s surely great to be nice to people who mean everything to you, but you also need to care for yourself. When you dedicate too much of yourself to others, you lose yourself in the process.
- People will trust you less
Since genuine kindness and generosity are rare these days, when you’re too kind and nice, others may think it’s being done with a hidden motive.
So, some people may meet you with mistrust and consequently, you’ll struggle to establish strong relationships.
- You may become the needy person
When you fail to meet your needs, you will subconsciously try to get them fulfilled in other places.
This can cause you to become needier and clingier yourself, with a constant need for validation.
When you meet your needs more than those of others, you will not need to get as much validation from others and you’ll be less clingy because you know what you really need/want.
- The risk of addiction is higher
When we don’t meet our needs, we don’t see our true value and the risk of engaging in addictive behavior to cope with stress is higher.
Overgiving people may try to find escape by overeating, overspending, or overusing substances like alcohol or drugs.
In times like this, reevaluation and more self-value are pivotal. Being good to others is great, but it won’t bring too much for you if you don’t have boundaries set in place.
When you value yourself, you will value all those around you and they will too.
- Others may see you as weak
When you’re too nice to everyone, others may perceive you as weak.
This may cause others to take advantage of you and you won’t be seen as a leader or authoritative person.
On the other hand, by setting boundaries, people will value you more. When you value yourself more, others will notice all the good things you’re doing.
- You’ll have unrealistic expectations of other people
When you’re nice to everyone, you expect the same from them as well, but this won’t always be the case. And, when they fail to help out as you do, you may become angrier and more resentful.
When you go above and beyond for others, you may take it personally when they don’t do the same for you. But, remember.
They’re just meeting their needs first and it’s also your responsibility to put yourself first as well.
- You’ll be less kind to yourself
When your time is spent caring for others, you’ll have less time to be kind to yourself. When your needs aren’t being met, you may experience burnout and even feel depressive at times.
It’s important to realize that you need to seek validation within yourself, not from others.
Spend time exploring yourself and meeting your needs and wants and don’t look for validation by being too nice all the time, but rather let kindness become your natural state and you’ll know better who deserves it and who doesn’t.
- You’ll feel resentful
When people begin to expect you to do everything they ask you to and when you’re always there for them, no matter your personal situation, you think they need to respect and admire you.
However, this isn’t always the case and plenty of people will take your kindness for granted. As a result, you’ll experience more hatred and anger because of your disappointment.
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