After struggling with his anxiety on his own for a decade, Scott Oughton-Johnson decided to create a group for men like him.
It was difficult for him to talk about his feelings. Not when he divorced the mom of his kids a decade ago and not during their custody battle.
The 35-year-old community sports coach says that he was in and out of court for the last 10 years. This London resident says that it was a nightmare and he kept it all inside.
People around him weren’t sure how he was doing it all. Inside, he explains, it was really hard. All of the anxiety and stress were destroying him.
2017: The Moment When It All Became too much
In 2017, he couldn’t keep up like that anymore. This is when he consulted his GP who advised him to undergo cognitive behavioral therapy.
However, the number of sessions was limited. He says he was back in the wild after the sessions. He wanted something that would help him keep the feeling he had after a session.
He knew that the one thing he enjoyed a lot was walking. So, three years fast forward, in September of 2020, he tried to create something that would help him connect with other men who may be in a similar state of mind.
He opened a Facebook page and shared a video of him talking about his mental health. He also said he was going for a walk and asked any other men who were interested to join him.
At the first walk; only one lad joined him. This disheartened him; however, they spent eight hours that night and talked about so many things.
The next week, two other lads joined them. The group just grew and grew. He considered it selfish to restrict their walks to a specific area so he started recruiting walk leaders to arrange walks in other neighborhoods.
Their walks happen every day, from Monday to Thursday. And, today, anywhere from five to 35 men may come. The walk happens as long as two men come.
They do their best to walk through parks or down the canal. This allows them to be in the moment and practice mindfulness. The walks may last between an hour and two.
Everyone is encouraged to leave when they want and they’re not obliged to stay until the end.
The Proper Blokes Club Is Helping Men & Their Families
All of the walkers are part of a WhatsApp group. They check on each other every day. There are moments when the participants say that they’re not in a good place and others offer to go and meet them or call them to check up on them.
This group is a safe place for men to discuss anything they want to. There’s no fear of being judged. Oughton-Johnson explains that this is more than necessary considering the tripled suicide rate of males in the UK than that of women.
Nikki Spencer, who came across the Proper Blokes Club after learning about them from a poster she saw during a GP surgery, says that Oughton-Johnson has helped so many people.
It’s not only helping them men, but also their families. Their oldest member is 75 while their youngest is 19.
They have formed amazing friendships with each other. They’ve gone to their weddings and birthdays.
Oughton-Johnson says that the ultimate goal is registering their club as a community interest company and make it available throughout London and then nationally.
He receives plenty of messages from people asking for a club like this in the place where they live. At the moment, this isn’t available so he advises them to start their own groups.
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