People have strong opinions about staying friends with our exes or not. Some people may look forward to this, but others think when we cut the cord that it’s goodbye forever.
Although it’s not an exact science, a new study claims that those who tend to stay in contact with their exes may hide something sinister in them.
The research was published in the Personality and Individual Differences Journal and discovered that people’s relations with their exes can be used as a test for psychopathy.
Being Friends with Your Ex May Signal a Bad Thing
A psychopath is a person with dark personality traits like sadism, narcissism, and Machiavellianism.
Most people fall on the spectrum somewhere, but what sets a psychopath apart from the rest is a total lack of empathy. This person is unable to have sympathy for others and all they do is for their amusement and gain.
The study was done by Oakland University scientists and they looked at the traits of 861 subjects and their history of relationships.
They were questioned about their current partners and whether they’re in good relation with their exes. They also had to fill out a questionnaire to determine the narcissistic and psychopathic qualities.
What Did the Researchers Conclude at the End?
Overall, the ones with darker traits were more likely to report staying in contact with their previous lovers. Having exes around gives them the chance to get access to some resources like sex, money or information.
Psychopaths tend to be highly charming and they hook their victims to their high intensity. And, it’s not easy to let them go.
The psychopaths usually target the ones who’re highly emphatic as they mistreat them as much as they want without this person leaving.
They give them some hope sporadically and string them for ан indefinite period. By keeping the bond with the ex partners unable to say goodbye for good, these people use it strategically and practically.
A psychopath treats people like they’re meat, explains Perpetua Neo, a doctor of psychology and expert in dark personality.
Neo notes that it’s like crocodiles store their meat under a rock-whenever they want to, they’ll take bites of it. And, psychopaths use people like they’re this meat-if you keep your connection with them, it will become harder and harder to break it down.
What about Psychopaths’ Friends?
The study discovered that the psychopaths also reported choosing their friends with a similar agenda.
This helps them keep their victims around. Psychopaths are skilled at spinning lies and making the other think that it’s them to blame and that their behaviour is completely normal.
Despite this research’s findings, this doesn’t necessarily mean that being friends with your exes that you’re a psychopath! However, if you or your ex tends to collect their exes as friends, motivations may need to be re-examined.
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