How many times have you been told by narcissists and their enablers that ‘you’re too sensitive’?
If you’ve heard it often and wondering if you’re really the issue, you should think again. This is actually a classic gas lighting technique that works like a charm for these people.
If you’re often told by those around how you’re too sensitive when you tell them they’ve hurt you or phrases like ‘can’t you take a joke’, ‘you need to be stronger’ or ‘why do you take everything personally’ and you’ve taken it deeply to heart, shame and confusion aren’t unknown to you.
You may’ve spent years feeling like this about your easily-wounded nature and sensitivity.
Especially when it’s said by our parents, they can leave a deep trace.
And, even if you believe the reasons for feeling like this are strong, you won’t be able get out of the vicious cycle of hurt and blame.
Your Anger Isn’t Unjustified
When we’re angry, we probably have a good reason for it.
And, telling others they’re overreacting when victimized is a common gas lighting method used by narcissists and enablers.
They dismiss your feelings in an effort to discredit you.
They mess up your sense of reality and cause you to doubt yourself and hesitate to call them out. The enablers may also accept this and even support the blaming of the victim to prevent from becoming one too.
How to Handle Being Gaslighted for Your Sensitivity
In most cases, it’s better to limit/end the contact with this person.
However, if you’re currently unable to do so, here are some helpful strategies.
Don’t explain yourself
A pathological narcissist thrives on invalidating and exploiting others and whenever you try to explain yourself, it falls on deaf ears.
This is because the person doesn’t care for your emotions, reasons, and explanations.
Don’t take their bait
Though it may be challenging, withholding your feelings when you’re insulted or criticized is a good way to disarm a narcissist and their enablers.
This is because they offend you to get a reaction and when you don’t give them one, they’ll turn elsewhere.
Don’t expose your vulnerability
Narcissists see vulnerability as a weakness and a chance to attack or exploit the person.
So, the sooner you stop sharing the deepest thoughts and feelings with them, the more protected you’ll be.
Work on yourself
If you’ve been abused for a long-time, you’re probably dealing with confused boundaries, low self-esteem, and other signs of complex trauma.
Therefore, it’s essential to find support and resources that will help you learn more about narcissism and trauma from narcissistic abuse.
The people who’ll genuinely care for you and wants nothing but the best for you will never dismiss your emotions, even if they make them uncomfortable.
Sources:
