At a young age, most of our time is spend on trying to figure out how the world works and things may seem exciting and new, but sometimes also intimidating. Parents and family are there to give us clues about how to react to our surroundings and they are without doubt our most important teachers throughout life.
According to Inc, the neuroplasticity of children’s brains is flexible which allows them to quickly learn and adapt. Hence, this is why they pick up languages easier than adults do. As we age, this flexibility minimizes; so, what we teach our children is crucial because it will shape their future and play an important role in what type of adults they will become.
Therefore, the focus of today’s article will be on presenting 5 phrases that you should avoid saying to your children because they can have a negative impact on the child’s well-being.
5 Phrases Parents Should Not Say to their Children
- “I’m busy” or “Leave me alone”
Without doubt, children can be quite demanding so parents often need some time to be on their own; however, when you constantly tell your child that you are busy to hang out with them or to leave you alone, you will reduce the chance for them coming to you as they grow. This is because your negative replies will make them think that there is no point of talking with you since you always say you are busy. A more adequate approach would be to inform them that you have something to finish and once you are done, you are heading out together for ice cream or playing a game.
- “Wait until I’m home!”
When parents are lacking patience, they often resort to the big guns so that the children do what is needed and one such common phrase used is “wait until daddy or mommy comes home!” which is completely wrong because you are not just making the child think that the other parent is the one who is “powerful”, but you are also making them the “bad cop”, which is completely unfair.
- “Good job!”
Why is this phrase bad, you are probably wondering, right?! When used from time to time, it has no negative impact and can be encouraging for the child; however, overusing it can be. By doing this, you teach your children to value the praise more than the satisfaction arising from an accomplishment and your constant praise may not motivate them to continue further once they have been praised.
- “You are so…!”
Whether you are blaming them for being too mean or too lazy or too shy, you will make the child believe that they are actually all those things and soon, they may even start behaving like that without being aware. This may be problematic later on in life. Instead, you should approach the specific issue right away without using any labels, for example: “You have been less active these days; could we improve things together?”
- “Stop crying!”
Crying is a way in which children express many of their emotions, including anger, sadness, fear, and even happiness. And, frequently, it may appear to a parent that their child is crying for no particular reason, which can be quite frustrating, so the parent immediately tells them to stop crying. When you constantly do this, you teach your kid that they should suppress their feelings due to fear of retribution and make them feel as if their emotions do not matter. A much better decision is to help them go through their emotion and acknowledge how they feel; for example: “Yes, water may seem scary if you are not used to it, but we can just stay here where it will just touch your toes gently while I hold your hand.”
Before heading out, do not forget to check out this article that talks about the type of children who have higher chance of becoming successful adults!